In the battle to remain faithful, particularly sexually, we must become seduction-proof. In order to do so, we need accountability. This is the second to last stop on the restoration highway for our study. Please remember, your restoration process may look a little different than mine.

We have discussed what seduction is and what makes us vulnerable to it. We went on to talk about the importance of closing doors to any area the enemy may attempt to seduce us. We also talked about what to do if we are currently dancing with seduction. We then discussed how to flee from it, seek repentance, and how to ask and receive forgiveness from God.

Today we will find out how to stay true to our commitment to God so we never find ourselves in the arms of seduction. In order to remain faithful, I feel it is imperative that you are accountable to God and a small group of friends. What does being accountable to someone look like to you?

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Romans 14:12 says, “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.”

According to this scripture, God will hold us accountable to Him. Being held accountable means we will have to give an explanation for each of our choices. I don’t know about you but just knowing that encourages me to want to obey God even more.

The Bible tells us that God is love. He is not a police chief looking down from heaven waiting to catch you in disobedience. He is a loving Father who wants to see you make good choices. He wants the best for you. He knows that when you step outside of His will, you will have to face the natural consequences here on earth that can often be painful. He wants to protect you from that. I believe one way he tries to protect us is by holding us accountable not only to Him but also to each other.

In their book Heart Friends, Margaret Kennedy and Shirley Moses say, “God knows that women need personal intimate relationships with other women, safe places where they can share their souls. As believers, our lives are already intertwined, establishing the close connection that we can strengthen by participating in a small accountability group.”

In a small accountability group we can find encouragement, support and prayer in our struggles. In the battle for sexual faithfulness we need each other now more than ever.

We need a safe, trusted place where we can open up and share the issues we are facing. We need a place where we know we will not be judged or condemned.

I know a major reason I never opened up to anyone in my past was because I was afraid that it would not be a safe place. I was afraid particular women would gossip about my struggle. I was afraid they would “tell” on me instead of encouraging me to get out of a mess. I believe Satan used fear to keep me from opening up. Had I opened up and talked about the struggles and temptations I faced, I may not have made some of the poor choices I did. My friends could have helped expose areas where the enemy was working in my life. I believe that is one of the benefits of having a small accountability group. When you are wearing the lenses of deception, it’s harder to see truth. Your friends can help expose those areas where the enemy has gained ground over you and pray against that. They might be able to see things that you cannot because your vision may be blurred by deception.

I believe the major reason women keep from seeking accountability is fear. The Bible teaches that with fear comes torment (see 1 John 4:18). Women are tormented by the evil one with fear. He plants fearful thoughts in their mind which drives them to isolation. Think of a time that fears were tormenting you. What were the feelings surrounding your soul?

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My pastor once shared an awesome acronym for FEAR:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Many times tormenting fear brought on by the evil one is just false evidence appearing real. God’s word teaches us the he did not give us a spirit of fear. It also teaches in 1 John 4:18 that perfect love casts out all fear. I believe when we are in the presence of unconditional love, it casts out all fear. God has blessed me with a few people in my life that know every detail about me. They know the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because they offered unconditional love, I felt safe enough to open up and share the things of my past. I trust these women with the every detail I have ever shared with them. I consider them to be my accountability friends.

The book Heart Friends is a wonderful resource on accountability among women. It is a fabulous tool for getting started. One idea I love in it is that it encourages your group to sign a covenant agreement together. The “pledge” agreement spells out expectations such as boundaries, trustworthiness, and confidentiality. It’s just one more way to ensure everyone is on the same page. I love that idea because it holds the group accountable. If you are interested in reading more about Heart Friends check your local Christian bookstore.

Aside from our sexuality, I believe we need to be accountable in all areas of our lives. We are capable of stumbling in other areas as well.

It has been my experience that sexual temptations are bound to walk our way a time or two whether they approach us emotionally, mentally or physically. The question is, when they come your way what are you going to do about it and how have you prepared yourself to stand up against it? There are several things I think are important to do that will help us in our battle against sexual seduction on all levels:

• We need to make a mental list of things we know feed our sexuality in an ungodly manner. Having done that we need to sacrifice our flesh by choosing not to feed our sexual cravings through those things. (e.g. books, movies, and TV shows.)

• We have to ask the Holy Spirit to make us sensitive. Then we will know before we open the door to any kind of seduction.

• We need to choose to feed our spirits with God’s Word through Bible study, books, or teaching tapes. We also need to be in fellowship with other believers through a local church.

• We need to be accountable to a small group of women. When we do so, we are less likely to be overtaken by sexual sin.

My goal is not to tell you how to form an accountability group, but to tell you why we need them. Ladies, we have never needed one another more than now! Do you agree? We are living in a time when sexual unfaithfulness is at its highest and running rampant throughout the church. We have got to be pursuing purity and practicing godliness with the encouragement of each other.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three is not quickly broken.”

When thinking about accountability what does this scripture mean to you?

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It is clear to me that when we are all alone in a battle, we are likely to be overpowered. Isolation is a breeding ground for the works of the enemy in our lives. When there are two standing in agreement together, we have a stronger defense and are less likely to be overpowered. But with three standing in agreement together we are more likely to succeed. When you picture a rope made of two cords versus three, which one is stronger? Three!

Several years ago when I was faced with an overwhelming season of temptation, I was caught off guard for several reasons. I had huge emotional wounds of rejection and abandonment that were left unhealed from childhood. I had sexual abuse issues that were left untreated. I was an affirmation-seeking vessel who longed to hear anything affirming from the opposite sex that temporarily soothed my wounds from the past. I had little knowledge of God’s Word and had no idea that I had an enemy whose primary mission was to devour me from the time I was born. I had never experienced the unconditional love of my earthly father or my Heavenly Father. I was a wounded little girl inside of a woman’s body desperate for the Father’s love. (See my personal testimony where I have a childhood picture that has “bondage” written all over it.)

I was also caught by surprise because I had no one I was accountable to, not even God. It scares me to even think that I wasn’t accountable to God back then!

Do you consider yourself accountable to God? Would you go to Him with any problem you might face? Why or why not? It’s okay to be honest. Even if your answer is no, He loves you regardless.
 
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What Satan means for harm God means for good, just as the Bible teaches. Through my past season of disobedience God allowed me to go through His refining fire. I deeply wounded several people because of my sinful choices. I will forever be sorrowful for doing so. I was scrutinized by some I loved and thought I rightfully deserved it. In fact, I’m sure I still have some enemies with a Pharisee mentality that would probably like to see me suffer a little longer than I did. I realize now, they are just hurting people continuing the cycle of hurting others and they don’t know how to vent their anger other than to kick the dog while it’s down. I experienced an attack of fear and anxiety like none I had ever known. I experienced mental and emotional sufferings I can’t even put into words. The pain was so enormous at times, I begged God to take me to my eternal home, but He did not. I asked for forgiveness from some when none was given in return, and gave forgiveness to those I had withheld it from for years. I feel like God allowed me to experience it all so that one day I could minister to those who were experiencing the same things. He allowed me to have a glimpse of death so that He could give me life, the abundant life. I give God every ounce of glory for bringing me through the fire. I would not be here today if He had not fought my battle against my real adversary. God removed every idol out of my life and in return gave me the real deal. Through that darkest season of my life He gave himself to me when I least deserved it. Is that not just like our God, to love the unlovely? I believe that should be one of our primary goals; to love the unlovely.

He showed me love, that of which I had never known. I am humbly grateful that I have a Father who saved me from the slimy pit of sin and pulled my feet out of the mud and the mire and placed them upon a new rock. (Psalm 40:2) The new rock he placed my feet upon is my Lord and Savior, Jesus. I will forever be in awe that he would die for me so that I could have everlasting life. May my flawed past serve as a reminder to the body of Christ to steer clear from the enemy’s playground, and may my future forever honor and glorify my first love, Jesus Christ.

Girls, lets strive for excellence when it comes to sexual purity. Let’s do everything we can to protect ourselves from seduction, even if that means we have to be transparent with one another. Get accountable with one another. We have never needed each other more than now. Revelation 19:11 says for such a time is coming that a rider whose name is Faithful and True is coming to get His precious bride! Did you know that you are the bride of Christ? Let me urge you to ponder one question. Will His bride be ready?

Let’s pray together.

Precious Father,
Words cannot express the gratitude we have that you call us daughters of the Most High. We thank you that you loved us so much that you sent your one and only Son to die for us. We thank you that you sent your Word to set us free from everything that binds us. We are so grateful for that! Father, thank you that you have given us such a sacred sexuality. We know that you want us to protect our bodies because they are a temple for the Holy Spirit. Thank you that your Word shows us how to protect our sexuality and that it continues to reveal how we can be set free from any sin that easily entangles us. In our journeys towards sexual wholeness, please continue to be our tour guide. We cannot do it without you. We love you so much. ! In Jesus name we pray,
Amen