I would just like to take a moment to speak to those of you who have huge regrets over any area where you may have compromised your sexuality. If you have never struggled with shame over any level of sexual sin in your life, maybe today’s lesson will help you help someone else who has.

This portion of the study is one I am all too familiar with. I have struggled for most of my life holding on to shame. Shame became another one of my best companions. We went everywhere together. You could say shame was my buddy. I had lived for so long with it that I didn’t know it was a possible to live without it. To be honest with you, I can hardly remember life without it. I am just coming to a place in my life where I occasionally still have to make the choice to not carry it with me. It has been quite a struggle! I have been bound for so long, I tend to want to go back to what is familiar. Isn’t that the nature of our flesh, to go back to the muck?

A lie I battled for a long time was that some of the choices I had made in my past were just not forgivable. God has since exposed that lie, and what freedom it has brought! If you are hanging onto any level of shame from any act of sexual sin from your past and feel what you did is either “unforgivable” or you feel you will forever be shamed for it, that is a lie. No matter what you have done, premarital or extramarital, there is NOTHING that God cannot forgive you for or set you free from. As a matter of fact, he desires to forgive you and deliver you from it.

Why do you think we find it so hard to forgive ourselves?
 
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Please take a moment to read Psalm 32:1. “Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.”

The word transgressions here in the original Hebrew language is pesha. Pesha means, “rebellion”. I have found that during times I was rebellious, I willfully chose to do it. I chose to follow through with it. Basically, this scripture is telling us that God forgives us of those sins that we thought about ahead of time, and willfully chose to do them! Let this scripture soak into your deepest regrets. When we ask for His forgiveness, He is faithful to forgive us of those that we planned to do knowing it was wrong. How does that speak to you today?
 
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Do I think this scripture gives us permission to go ahead and commit heinous acts of sin? By no means do I mean so!

I have been walking in freedom from shame for several seasons now, but I was recently tempted to pick it up and give it a piggy back ride! A situation arose where I had heard some things through the grapevine that reminded me of my worst season of sin. Sometimes when I am reminded of it, I still feel tremendous pain. I believe it’s okay to feel pain at times because it reminds us of where we never want to go again. However, when the pain leads us to feeling “shameful”, we have chosen to own it and we were never meant to. I realized that when I was tempted to own the shame from the comments I heard, I had victory because I was able to recognize it as bait from the enemy before I chose to receive it. In that moment I had a choice: I could rebuke it and choose not to receive it, or I could pick it up and carry it with me. It is sort of like being offered a coat to wear that has the label “shame”. You can choose to put it on and wear it around, or, accept what Jesus did for you on the cross and not wear it. I chose the latter.

Do you have lingering guilt and shame from any level of sexual sin premarital or extramarital? There are several reasons why guilt and shame can linger. Let me ask a few straightforward questions.

1. Have you asked God to forgive you for it? Have you received His forgiveness?

2. Have you repented from that? That means you turned away from that sin and are in agreement with God about the sin.

3. Have you forgiven yourself?

4. Have you asked God to deliver you from everything that attaches you to the event that led to feelings of shame?

When it comes to areas where I have compromised my sexuality, I have struggled so much in my past over forgiving myself and begging for God’s forgiveness that I am passionate about conveying to you that all you need to know is that God forgives you (the first time you ask!) and wants you to live a life free of shame. He wants you to forgive yourself as well. I want to ask you one question. If you are one like me that used to run to the throne of grace and ask forgiveness for the same sin over and over, why are you continuing to look back at what God has already forgotten? Why are you asking forgiveness for something God has already forgiven you of and forgotten?

Take a moment to journal your thoughts. I can just see Him now as you run back for the hundredth time to ask for forgiveness. He is saying, “My child, what on earth are you talking about? The first time you asked me to forgive you of that I threw it as far as the east is from the west! In fact, I don’t even remember which sin I forgave of you. Believe me when I tell you that I remember your sin no more.”

I can remember walking through the steps of repentance and forgiveness yet I still found that thoughts of guilt and shame would come at me. Shame is defined in Webster’s online dictionary as, “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt.”

In Beth Moore’s Praying God’s Word, she says, “In the life of a believer, guilt experienced before repentance is the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Guilt experienced after repentance is the condemnation of the evil one.” Shame is Satan’s game. He is called the “accuser of the brethren.” If he can throw guilt at you over something you have done and you receive it, it turns into shame. I feel there are countless numbers of women who are caught in a vicious cycle of guilt and shame. The guilty thoughts run through their minds and they meditate on them. Before long their feelings become involved and they are overwhelmed with shame. Girls, feelings can sometimes be our worst enemy. When our feelings are not in balance we usually cannot trust them. I can tell you there was a period of time after I asked for forgiveness that I didn’t “feel” forgiven. God wants me to walk in truth. Feelings are not always true. If I am going to walk in truth then I have to walk in what I know is truth rather than what my heart might be feeling. I have to trust that my feelings will catch up with the truth eventually.

One time I was “feeling” like there was no way God could do anything good with me or my life because I had made such a mess of it. My counselor said to begin to “act” as if you are forgiven even if you don’t feel you are and the feelings will come later. The truth is that I was forgiven the moment I asked for forgiveness. Just because I didn’t feel like I was, didn’t mean my feelings should override the truth. I chose to act as if I was feeling forgiven and she was right. The feelings caught up later. I do feel forgiven now, but it took some time for me to soak the truth into my soul. Sometimes when we receive truth we have to walk it out for a time in order for our feelings to change. You may not feel like your sins are forgivable, but if you have repented and asked for forgiveness, begin to act upon the truth. God does not lie. He is the Father of Truth. If He tells you that you are forgiven than it is true!

Describe how you sometimes let your feelings get in the way of truth.

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Beth Moore also states in Praying God’s Word that, “Never in all of scripture does Christ resist the repentant sinner. He resisted the proud and self-righteous religious but never the humble and repentant. Indeed, forgiveness is why he came.”

I know many women who have been caught in the trap of the enemy’s seduction of sexual sin. They are either still battling the shame of giving themselves away in an ungodly relationship that was years ago or they were caught in the trap of adultery and are still tortured mentally with shameful thoughts about it. They have been forgiven by God but still believe they are a terrible person. They have not forgiven themselves.

Ladies, we have got to get to a place where we realize that God is all about forgiveness and Satan is all about reminding you of your past! We need to rise up and remind Satan of his past when he tries reminding us of ours!

Isaiah 43:18 says, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.”

What does this scripture tell us to do with the former things and our past? Why is this important?

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Okay ladies, this is an easy prescription. All we have to do is CHOOSE to forget them and to not dwell on them. When one of my past sins pops in my head, this is how I apply that scripture:

• I choose to not entertain it.

• I make a conscience effort to not dwell on it.

• I speak God’s truth out loud. I might say, “Thank you Lord that you have forgiven me of all of my sins. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. I love you Lord.”

• Then I choose to think about something totally different.

I came to a place in my life that I was so sick and tired of hearing accusations and condemning words from the enemy that I cried out for God to help. Not only did I hear these accusations in my mind, but I also heard them from those who had unforgiveness towards me. Whenever a shameful subject came up from my past, I would hear the voice of the enemy through certain people saying mean things about me. I began to believe I was what “they” said I was; a horrible person. You see, that is a lie. I am not a horrible person. My actions at times have been horrible, however, I as a created being, am not horrible. That is in direct conflict with what God says about me. I believe the Holy Spirit within wanted to use that situation to begin teaching me that I was not who the enemy said I was, and I was not who I believed I was and I was not who “they” said I was. God wanted me to believe I was who He said I was. He allowed me to remain in an environment where I was shamed until I grew immune to it. He taught me how to fight the good fight and win the battle with Him over shame. He used what Satan meant for harm for my good. Hallelujah!

We are going to close today. I am so thankful you have stuck with me this far! We are almost coming to an end. I can’t believe it! In our next lesson we will be visiting a graveyard so go ahead and put on your hiking shoes and bring your shovels and plan to dig! I will meet you there in the next lesson. Be blessed, dear one. You are on your way to living a victorious life in Christ Jesus!
 

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