From experience I can tell you that when you are feeling dissatisfied in a relationship, there is a need for more of Jesus. Now, I understand there are some who feel unsatisfied in a relationship because they place an unhealthy expectation on their partner to meet their needs. I am not talking about that. I am talking about someone who is in a healthy relationship but still feels unsatisfied. Those are the people who I feel need to apply more of Jesus in their life.

Most unhealthy comparisons are the result of dissatisfaction. It is unfair to your spouse to expect him to be Jesus in your life. He is not perfect and never will be. Satan encourages you to make comparisons so you will become more dissatisfied with your spouse. Through making comparisons, he then begins to tempt you with thoughts of another man that you might consider leaving your spouse for. As you feed your flesh with comparisons, Satan will begin to feed you lies to get you to think the grass is greener on the other side. If he can talk you into leaving your marriage for the greener grass he has succeeded. Once you get over to the other side, you will eventually realize not only is the grass not greener, but your situation is worse that what it was to begin with. This is part of his plan to steal, kill and destroy. I can’t tell you how many times I went looking for love in all the wrong places. I spent half my teenage years and early adulthood looking to men to fill my needs. Once I grew dissatisfied I would go looking for greener grass. By the way, the only green grass I have ever found lies in Jesus’ front yard!  

I once heard that women use sex for love and men use love for sex. Most of my past was a tragic story of a girl in desperate need of love from a father who didn’t know how to love her. In order to fill that need, I used my sexuality to get my drug of choice. I had sexual relationships in order to feel loved. In my attempts to fill that emptiness that my Father in Heaven wanted to fill, I used sex for love and piled up a heavy load of shame through unhealthy relationships.

My hope in shedding light on these unhealthy comparisons is to help you begin to see that they will only set you up for disappointment and dissatisfaction. I believe the enemy wants us to be unsatisfied with what God has given us, and will try every trick to get us to that point. What is one way he does that? I think he entices us to begin to question our satisfaction with our mates by posing questions that get us to begin making unhealthy comparisons.

In what ways have you seen evidence of this in your life?

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What emotions and disappointments have come along with any unhealthy comparisons you have made?

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I have heard the many lies that women believe to be the truth. Some of them sound like the following: “There is no passion in my marriage. I don’t think God would want me to spend the rest of my life with someone I don’t feel passionate towards. I don’t feel whole with this person. I can’t live the rest of my life in a dissatisfying relationship.” These lies open the door to begin making unhealthy comparisons to other marriages that “seem” full of life and passion. The next thing you know you are justifying why you need to leave your man and look for another.

We know that if we move our thoughts to the next stage of “words” we will be speaking things out that will give Satan power to enter our lives. Satan enters through sin. If we speak things out like making unhealthy comparisons, then we are usually making judgments. Making judgments is sin and it gives Satan legal rights to attack you.

Women in general tend to be talkers. If we don’t watch it, we will find ourselves venting our dissatisfaction with our friends, or perhaps another man. When we speak these kinds of things into existence it gives way for sin to snowball out of control.

Write out a prayer asking God to reveal comparisons that are taking place in your mind so that you may repent of those thoughts and close the door to the enemy.

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